Setting goals will pose different challenges for everyone. Why? Because setting a goal means that something(s) must change. Making changes can be hard because for most of us it takes us out of our comfort zone, and it also means that you must change a habit or form a new one. Making changes means you must stop a habit that is not working for you and replace it with a habit that will work for you. Replacing bad habits with good habits takes time, and you need to be patient with yourself, give yourself the time to adopt the new behaviour. The key is to start small, especially if the new habit takes you way out of your comfort zone. Understanding basic psychology behind goal setting can make it easier to set new goals.
I think that we have all heard of the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timeframe) methodology for goal setting. From my experience the SMART methodology often does not work on a personal goal. Personally, I don’t use it for me, or any of my clients, and certainly not for personal goal setting. I believe that SMART methodology works well with projects or assignments, things of a subjective nature. I truly believe that personal growth goals are more likely to be successful if there is an emotional connection to the goal. That’s where the SMART methodology falls short, there’s no emotional connection.
I have a favorite quote by Jim Rohn; “for things to change YOU must change”. The saying resonates with me because I must change, that makes it personal. Nothing will change if you don’t change.
This is your goal. You need to own it. You need to make the change that will create the habit to reach the goal.
To make any change, big or small, you need a strong reason why.
Step 1. identifying your WHY. Why do you want to achieve the goal? The stronger your WHY the more connected you will be to the outcome. And write your why down.
A strong why usually comes from an event, a moment of fear or pain, the loss of something or someone valuable, something that literally makes you stand up and pay attention or makes you feel lucky to be alive. Like a bolt of lightning! Where you know that if you don’t make a change(s) the consequence could be devastating. Your strong emotional attachment to your why will become your anchor, your reason to take on this goal until you achieve it, no matter what.
Your WHY will fuel your desire to make the changes. However, often when we set ourselves a goal, we are not sure what we need to change, or we might make changes that are not efficient.
A real-life example is my own journey back to health and fitness. At 50 I decided I wanted my athletic body back. I cut out all carbs, ate smaller amounts and started walking. This worked for about 4 months then I plateaued. So, I cut back more food and increased my walking and lost a bit more. Then I joined a gym and stared to lift weights. I got some more results and then nothing. That took around 12 months, and it really wasn’t working. I thought maybe that’s what 51 is, but I saw other women who were older who looked amazing and felt that I had not reached my ideal body goal. I decided to get the results I wanted I needed a coach. What took me 12 months with average results he helped me achieve in 12 weeks!! He increased my food, intensified my training and in 12 weeks – that’s right 12 weeks, not 12 months, I got the results I wanted.
The emotion of finally getting the health and fitness and what’s more the body I desired has fueled my goals over the past 8 years. Not just in my health and fitness but in all other areas of my life.
Goals are about feeling the emotion, understanding the changes, making the changes until the changes become habits. Creating habits takes time. The process can be hard, making change is hard. So, a strong WHY will make the process easier and the likelihood of you achieving your goal greater.
The other daily practice I introduced back into my life was journalling.
Step 2 – write down your goal. I wrote down my goal(s) and all the emotions!! I strongly believe that writing down your goal, your reason and your why (or your purpose) takes it from just a thought in your head to realization on paper. Write it down and read it daily. I wrote down every day what action(s) I took to make my goal (dream) become a reality.
The interesting thing about journalling is as you get closer to your goal, you will want to achieve other goals, define your goals, make more changes or choices to create better habits in all areas of your life. Journalling becomes your accountability, and your measure. I look back at my journals over the years and realize just how far I’ve come. How much closer I am to my best version. The ‘Best Version” just keeps getting better. I highly recommend keeping a journal.
What I find interesting is that when you write down your goal down and the action(s) you need to take to make it happen, you reflect and re-write parts of your goal. Once you start listing out the actions to achieve your goal you soon realize the level of commitment required. Daily actions are important so commit to what you can and write them down. It’s here where I suggest that you reflect on the emotion that you attached to your why. Depending upon how strong your emotion was will determine your level of commitment and making adjustments is completely OK!
So, you should have a journal, with a goal written down and daily actions. What’s next? – just do the actions, you are allowed to make adjustments along the way but avoid making excuses and not doing the action(s) at all. Excuses are the glue that builds failure. They create and support a negative mindset. Excuses make you feel bad about yourself, they help promote the failing attitude that has kept you from your goals in the past, they keep you in your comfort zone and they protect your ego from being hurt. Excuses don’t build goals.
But now I’d like to rephrase the word excuse and call it FRICTION.
Step 3. take away the friction. Pack your exercise gear ready for a walk or gym, make your lunch the night before, put the book on your pillow to read at night, set an alarm for bed at 9:00 to read the book, put your phone out of reach so you have to get out of bed to turn it off in the morning. Simple actions to take away the friction. Even if you start with one or two days a week, write it in your journal, example – every Sunday and Wednesday evening I will make lunch for work the next day. Make small changes but stick to them. Take away the friction.
Making changes and sticking to the new actions will be easier for some than for others. This has to do with mindset. You can change your mindset too. People that find making changes easier are usually just further along in their journey.
Your mindset, your inner voice, or what I call ‘how you identify yourself’ will be a powerful tool along your goal journey. Perhaps it’s here that I ask, ‘How do you talk to yourself, how do you identify yourself?’ Are you constantly telling yourself that you can’t make the change? If you are constantly telling yourself “I can’t do ‘that’”, that is likely the reason why you find yourself where you are. I can guarantee that you will still desire that change, in a few months, a year or worse a few years later.
Step 4 – STOP the negative self-talk. You are worthy of your goal(s). Everyone is worthy of their goals and dreams, no matter what they are. This is your life – own it, don’t let anyone take it ways from you- especially yourself.
NOW GO DO THAT THING!!
I have written articles that can be used when goal setting. Read and refer to them during your journey. My articles are free to everyone, so please share. I have accomplished significant goals and learned many life lessons and want to share so I can help support those who desire a healthier life Body, Mind, Environment and Financially